You just got an adult autism diagnosis—now what?

By Connie Butera, Registered Psychotherapist (CRPO) — Newmarket, Ontario
Hi, I’m Connie (she/her), a neurodiversity-affirming therapist supporting autistic and otherwise neurodivergent adults and families. My practice centres dignity, consent, pacing, and practical supports—no “fixing,” no masking lessons. If you’re in York Region/Simcoe, you can book with me here: https://conniebutera.janeapp.com.

A quick note before you dive in

  • Use this post when you’re ready. I’m publishing it so you (or a loved one) can return any time and take the next step at your own pace.

  • In my practice, it’s very common for a child’s assessment to spark reflection in a parent—many adults realize they might also be neurodivergent and begin their own diagnostic journey.

  • Still on the fence about pursuing a diagnosis? Skim what the journey can look like and decide if/when it’s right for you.

First: welcome. An autism diagnosis in adulthood can feel clarifying, emotional, and life-changing—all at once. Nothing “new” has appeared; you’ve got language for a lifelong neurotype. You are different, not less. 🫶

1) Take time to process

Expect waves—relief, validation, and sometimes grief for “what might have been.” Give yourself permission to pause and regulate before sprinting into logistics. Lean on trusted people and ND-affirming professionals.

I am here to help! If you’re in York Region/Simcoe and want to process at your own pace, I offer individual and family therapy that honours your sensory profile, energy, identity, and goals: https://conniebutera.janeapp.com.

2) Understand adult services & funding (Ontario/Canada)

Key financial supports to explore

3) Build your support map (local + online)

York Region & area (adult-friendly/community):

Canada-wide resource libraries & navigation:

More regional agencies I’ve compiled (skim for adult-applicable programs):
https://conniebuteramacp.yolasite.com/York-Region-Service-Agencies.php

4) Embrace your neurodivergence

This is a process of self-knowledge—sensory needs, social energy, executive-function supports, stimming, communication preferences, and environments where you thrive. Consider:

  • Sensory-friendly routines/commutes and low-demand recovery days

  • Body-double/virtual co-working for task initiation

  • Assistive tech (visual timers, reminders, text-expansion, speech-to-text)

  • Self-advocacy scripts for healthcare, work, school, and family

Therapy can centre burnout recovery, identity integration, relationships, accommodations, and values-based planning—not camouflaging. Local to Newmarket/York Region? Book with my ND-affirming practice: https://conniebutera.janeapp.com.

5) Workplace: disclosure & accommodations (Ontario)

You decide if/when/how to disclose. In Ontario, the Human Rights Code and AODA require employers and service providers to accommodate disability to the point of undue hardship; accommodations should be individualized and dignity-preserving.

6) A starter checklist (save/share)

In case of crisis

What if I don’t have a diagnosis yet—how do I get one?

  1. Talk to your family doctor about your experiences and ask for a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist for a formal adult autism evaluation.

  2. Plan for wait times. In Ontario, public pathways can involve lengthy waits (often many months; in some areas a year or more), so starting the conversation early helps.

  3. Consider private assessment if you have benefits or the means to pay (commonly $3,500+; varies by provider and scope). Private assessments are typically faster; ask about adult-specific tools, a feedback session, and a report suitable for accommodations/DTC.

  4. Not ready for an assessment? Therapy can still help with sensory strategies, burnout recovery, communication supports, and accommodations requests—diagnosis is not a prerequisite for support.

Final word

Your diagnosis doesn’t change who you are—it explains you. You deserve supports that honour your wiring, community that “gets it,” and a plan that’s paced for your nervous system. If you want help putting this together, my Newmarket practice is here for you and your family: https://conniebutera.janeapp.com.